Boobs & Assholes: Anatomy of the Arroyo Administration

There is a rumor going around that Gloria Arroyo has breast implants. It should not come as a surprise if that were the case. She has always surrounded herself with big boobs so making her own bigger is but a logical extension of the concept.

Consider the Secretary of the Department of Justice Raul Gonzalez. When journalists were able to get an interview with MILF renegade Commander Bravo, he had the pinheaded notion to suggest that the journalists should have informed the authorities the location of the interview. The very idea itself is wrong on many levels and so many ways that it would take forever to enumerate them all. The basic ones need to be mentioned. First, journalists do not take sides. They are supposed to report on matters in an objective and fair manner. Raul Gonzalez must have been watching too much Fox TV that he now believes that being fair and objective means rooting for one side unabashedly. Second, even suggesting that journalists act as informants for the government places journalists in harm's way. The next time that some outlaw grants an interview, he might think that his interviewer is setting him up. He must really want our country to have the dubious distinction of topping Iraq as the country where most journalists are killed. Aside from being a big boob Raul Gonzalez earns for himself the honor of being an asshole. And if a rumor that Gloria Arroyo had another anus surgically implanted or her own surgically enlarged, that too, should not come as a surprise.

As Raul Gonzalez has increased the occupational risk of journalists, they should return the favor by attending all his press conferences even if, or especially when they are sick. His immune system is compromised because of a recent kidney transplant he underwent and a strategically directed spittle might just do the job that a total renal failure failed to do.

Then there's the confederation of idiots in the Palace. Where to begin? Let's start with the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain. Until now, those dolts could not make up their mind whether Gloria Arroyo authorized or knew of the terms of the so called agreement. To be fair, it is not much of a choice—either Gloria Arroyo was knowingly selling out our country to a handful of bandits or she was unknowingly selling out our country to a handful of bandits.

Recently there was the flap about the $10B emergency fund for ASEAN. First, Gloria Arroyo tried to take credit for nudging the World Bank to set up a contingency fund. The very next day, the World Bank denied it. All the president's men then scurried about and came up with the lame explanation that it was the International Monetary Fund. As lame as it was, it too, was wrong. There is a fund to help any country suffering from the global financial crisis. In essence, Gloria Arroyo was hogging the limelight for nothing at all. It's not really out of character. Remember when she tried to take credit for supposedly lowering the cost of text messages? It turned out that there was already an ongoing promotional program which was only for a limited time and subject to different conditions.

Former Department of Agriculture Undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante is in the news again. He is scheduled to be deported back here next week. His lawyer said that he chose not to appeal the denial of his application for refugee status in the United States. He has exhausted all his appeals, actually. He is accused of diverting money which was supposed to fund a fertilizer program, into Gloria Arroyo's presidential campaign. It's not as if he could not find enough conduits for the diversion scheme so it baffles the imagination why he had to make it appear that congressmen who were not close, but even hostile to Gloria Arroyo purportedly received funds from the fertilizer scam. Not content with such a blunder, he even went to the United States where he had the audacity to petition for asylum because of “persecution” here in the Philippines. On principle alone, he should be thrown out of the plane head first onto the tarmac once it arrives here to give a little bit of credence to his claim of persecution.

Bayani Fernando ranks up there with Raul Gonzalez in the anatomy category. His idea of beautifying EDSA is to have his picture plastered all throughout the entire length of the city's main thoroughfare. His face is not one that only a mother could love. It's one that could convince a mother to consider post-term abortion. Traffic along EDSA slows to a crawl because drivers do not know how to properly make a left turn at the intersections. Drivers usually occupy and block thru-lanes when making left turns. Bayani Fernando's solution is to eliminate intersections and have drivers do u-turns. Consider for a moment that a u-turn is essentially two consecutive left turns. Now, we don't have through-traffic being choked by drivers improperly making left turns, but by the same idiots improperly making u-turns.

Tito Sotto, currently head of PDEA, when he was a senator during the Oakwood Mutiny inquiry and upon being told that the supposed destabilization plan was a fake, asked for the original. Then Armed Forces chief General Angelo Reyes had to point out that “fake” meant “spurious” or just made-up and not “fake” in the manner of an illicit copy of a copyrighted DVD where an original existed. This is the same Angelo Reyes who is now secretary of the Department of Energy who, when lauding the benefits of using compressed natural gas as fuel for internal combustion engines claimed that one of such benefits is the reduction if not the elimination of carbon dioxide emissions. He probably meant carbon monoxide.

Gloria Arroyo's band of idiots even made it to the legislature. There's Lito Lapid. Res Ipsa Loquitur. There too, are the Cayetano siblings whom Gloria and Mike Arroyo helped in their election campaign. Senate President Manny Villar is currently out of the country and he appointed Pia Cayetano as officer-in-charge. Now, Senator Santiago wants a warrant of arrest issued against Eliseo dela Paz but Pia Cayetano would not sign one until she has received guidance from the absent senate president. If she has to await instructions from Manny Villar on such a simple matter, she's not really in charge, is she?

Finding people in the current administration who is neither an asshole or a boob is getting to be like finding good people in Sodom (by definition, there would be relatively bigger assholes here, but I digress) and Gomorrah. So, when people in the Arroyo administration resign their positions, ask not why. They probably just have had enough of being big boobs or assholes.

Of Idiots and Liars

After hearing the first few minutes of Alan Peter Cayetano's privilege speech before the Philippine Senate on September 16, 2008, I can't understand why the other senators (or senate-tors, as Benjamin Abalos would say) tried so hard to prevent him from doing so. Peter Cayetano rose on a matter of personal privilege... and proved that he is either an idiot or a liar.

Senator Lacson, in a previous privilege speech regarding the alleged insertion of an additional item amounting to some two hundred million pesos in the 2008 national budget, made an issue of Peter Cayetano's seemingly cavalier comment that the additional 200 million pesos tacked onto the bill was just loose change. Peter Cayetano took offense.

In his privilege speech, Peter Cayetano said that his off-the-record comment to the news media was taken out of context and given a sinister meaning. And so, he set forth to lay the proper context to his comment.

He claimed that Senator Manny Villar earned 20 billion pesos in the latter's company's went public via an initial public offering (IPO) some years ago. He further claimed that 200 million pesos, although a big amount in itself, is relatively very small to the twenty billion pesos that Senator Villar earned in a clean and honest manner. Therefore, according to Peter Cayetano, Senator Villar would not be interested in benefitting from a mere 200 million pesos in the national budget. In that way, 200 million pesos is just loose change.

Logicians call what Peter Cayetano laid out a syllogism. Syllogism is a method of proof in logic where two premises are established to reach a conclusion. In this case, the premises are: 1) Senator Villar earned a huge amount of money when his company went public—in other words, he is very rich; 2) Two hundred million pesos is not a lot of money—mere loose change—compared to the 20 billion pesos he earned when his company went public so he would not be interested at all in padding the national budget by that amount. The conclusion then, is that Senator Villar has nothing to do with the insertion of an additional line in the 2008 national budget

The thing is, both the premises are wrong. Consequently, the conclusion is a fallacy.

First, Senator Villar did not earn 20 billion pesos when his company went public. Apparently, Senator Villar's company raised that amount in the IPO. Generally, the proceeds of an IPO is additional capital for the corporation and not income for the owner of the company. In fact, doing an IPO is one of the popular ways by which a company raises additional capital that it can use to expand its business. Capital is not the same as income. Of course, some investors may cash out their investments in a company when it goes public via an IPO. Senator Villar may have cashed out some of his investment in his company during the IPO but surely, not the entire proceeds. Doing so could have violated several provisions of the Corporation Code as well as SEC rules, at the very least.

Peter Cayetano might have confused capital and income because his father, the late Rene Cayetano, admittedly earned millions from trading BW Resources stocks. That was income. Most if not all of the money raised in the Camella & Palmera Homes IPO was capital. A lawyer should know the difference.

Second, there is no such thing as being too rich. Martha Stewart who was worth at least a billion dollars at the time she traded on inside information regarding the biotech company ImClone served time in federal prison for what experts calculated as only about $70,000 difference in the sale price of ImClone stocks.

The conclusion is also wrong because one does not have to actually receive the 200 million pesos to gain unfair, and ultimately, financial advantage or benefit from it. A politician can take credit for the program where the additional funding was used, as they often do.

Now, Peter Cayetano should find himself in what logicians call the “horns of a dilemma.” That is just a fancy way of saying that one is between a rock and a hard place. One is left with only two options, both of which are bad. On one hand, he can admit that he did not know the difference between capital and income and come out a fool. On the other hand, he can say that he knew the difference between capital and income and admit that he lied about Senator Villar earning 20 billion pesos from the Camella & Palmera Homes IPO.

Maybe Peter Cayetano was thinking about an American politician when he made that flippant comment about 200 million pesos being just loose change—the politician whose comment went something like this: “A billion here, a billion there. Pretty soon we're talking about real money.”

Peter Cayetano should probably emulate his fellow senator Lito Lapid who seems to have taken Mark Twain's words to heart. It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

The Rational Consumer

I had finally bought a new tube of toothpaste today. I had been using toothpaste from a tube that has been “empty” for the past five days. A tube of toothpaste is not really empty until you have split is open with a pair of scissors and wiped the last traces of toothpaste for one last brushing session.

These past five days, the trace amount of toothpaste that I was able to squeeze out of an empty tube had been sufficient to clean my teeth. That means that during the times when there was a lot of toothpaste still left in the tube, I had been using more than what I needed to clean my teeth. That was actually quite evident because most of the toothpaste just ended on the basin, still in unused clumps, when I rinse my mouth afterwards.

If it were just toothpaste, this is would be a waste of time on the mundane but we also behave in this manner in other things with far greater consequences. This thing with the toothpaste is just an illustration of how we do not behave as rational consumers.

In business school, we were tested on how rational we were as consumers. Assume that you are in a mall and right next to you is a convenience store where you can buy a can of soda for $11 while you can also get the same soda for $1 at the end of the mall which is about 500 meters away. Where would you buy the can of soda?

Now assume that you are in the same mall and next to you is an electronics store where you want to buy a digital camera which would cost you $5,010. The same camera is available at an electronics store at the other end of the mall which is about 500 meters away and would cost you $5000. Where would you buy a digital camera?

The rational consumer would buy both the can of soda and the digital camera at the far end of the mall. Ten dollars for a 500 meter walk is still $10 dollars whether you are buying a can of soda or a digital camera. Of course, the really savvy consumer would have parked at the other end of the mall if he knew stuff there were $10 cheaper. But I digress.

The irrational consumer, on the other hand would trudge 500 meter to save $10 on a can of soda but would not do so for the same amount of savings when buying a high ticket item.

There are more common forms of irrational consumer behavior such as putting money on a savings account which earns 2% interest per annum while maintaining a credit card balance which charges about 4.5% interest per month.

Going back to the toothpaste issue, I just realized that I had been irrational in my use of toothpaste. I had been using more than what is needed when there is still plenty of toothpaste left when I should always be using only what I need.

This business school flashback is courtesy of the recent drop in oil, and consequently in fuel, prices. The rapid increase in gas prices have forced use to use what is only necessary. When gas prices go down, we might be tempted to backslide and once again use what is available, much more than what we only need.

The Politics of Obfuscation

Once upon a time there was a poor young man scavenging along the beach for shellfish to eat and whatever cast away things that he could use when he came upon a rusted clump. It didn't look promising but he thought that if it was just all rust, he could toss it away later. If there was still some usable metal within the rust, he could sell it at the recycling center for a few centavos.

When he reached the hovel he called home, he worked to get the rusty crust off whatever was inside the clump he found. Lo and behold, there was what appeared to be an oil lamp....

To make a long story short, out came a genie who granted him three wishes. He asked for wealth, good looks, and to really impress the women, he asked that he should be able to drag his penis along the ground when he walked. The genie then transformed his legs to mere stumps.

There are many variations to this anecdote. There's one where an American, seeing the success of foreign cars on American soil asked for a foreign car dealership. In the blink of an eye, he found himself the owner of a Cadillac dealership in the middle of Tokyo.

And then there's the story of the man who bought shoes at a shoe store because it was a “half off sale.” He only got one shoe, instead of a pair.

The point here is that ambiguity leads to confusion and sometimes, tragedy. Furthermore, if we are not vigilant in the manner by which other people use ambiguous language to mislead us.

We have always played fast and loose with our ambiguous and misleading language. News coverage of the recent dismissal of former Court of Appeals justice Vicente Roxas mentioned that he was a bar exams topnotcher. Being a bar topnotcher means topping the bar, that it, getting a grade higher than everyone else.

The term “barrister” refers lawyers in England and members of the Commonwealth State who have qualified to, and are allowed to appear before magistrates. Here we use that term to refer to law school graduates who are preparing or taking the bar exams. The proper term for those is “under bar” or bar examinees if they are currently taking the exams.

The problem with not being very exacting in our use of language is that we allow those who are more creative in their use of words to mislead and hoodwink us.

During the height of the rice crisis earlier this year, rumors were swirling around that Agriculture Secretary Arthur Yap's father-in-law was unduly and unlawfully taking advantage of the situation. Secretary Yap issued a statement stating that his father-in-law was not in any way involved in the wholesale trading of grain. Of course, that did not really answer the issue of whether or not his father-in-law was taking undue and illegal advantage of the rice crisis. His father-in-law could have been involved in the grains retail trade, or numerous other activities related to the grain trade. Somehow, people just left the issue at that.

Just yesterday, the Armed Forces released a video of what appeared to be child soldiers undergoing training in arms and warfare under the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF). The MILF immediately issued a statement categorically stating that none of their regular soldiers were children and that they do not recruit children to join their ranks. The MILF used a lot of words to say nothing at all.

The accusation based on the video is that the MILF is training children in the use of arms and in warfare. When the MILF stated that there are no children in the ranks of their regular troops or among their combatants, it only means that the alleged child soldiers do not join the ranks of regular troops and combatants until they are of age. And when the MILF avers that they do not recruit children, it does not say anything about whether or not they refuse children who volunteer to join their ranks.

Our Long Descent Into Barbarism Begins

The Philippine Military recently released a video of an alleged MILF training camp where what appeared to be children were being trained in the use of arms and in warfare. And the MILF has promptly denied this. Well, not exactly. The MILF did not deny providing military training to children who have volunteered to join their ranks. What the MILF denied was having children in the ranks of their regular troops and actively recruiting children to join their ranks.

Given the atrocities committed by members of the MILF in recent months, and now the allegations of violating the rights of children, one would expect that the present administration would move to declare the MILF as a terrorist organization.

But the Philippines is Wonderland and Gloria Arroyo is the Queen of Hearts. Nothing makes sense. What, you ask, would one have to do to be declared as a terrorist organization here? Atrocities and wanton human rights violations aside, one only need to be of no use to Gloria Arroyo. The MILF is fortunate enough that the current administration can use them to make and end run on charter change in order to perpetuate Gloria Arroyo's hold on power. The New People's Army, which is arguably less vicious, but probably less willing to be manipulated by the current administration has found itself on that terror list. That may be giving the NPA more credit that is due them. It may only be that the NPA has no claim on ancestral domain to dangle in front of Gloria Arroyo.

This is just great. (Sarcastic.) Not only do we have the dubious distinction of ranking second only to Iraq in terms of number of journalists killed, or for being up there in the corruption index, now we have joined the ranks of Somalia, Sierra Leone, and other African countries that have child soldiers.

Of course Gloria Arroyo's overly generous accommodations are not limited to the MILF. One only need to look at the incompetent, corrupt, and abusive people entrenched in government positions to comprehend the extent of her “generosity.”

The Glorietta 2 Blast In Retrospect

I was in Glorietta Mall last Thursday (September 4, 2008) when smoke emanated from Glorietta 2, the scene of an explosion almost a year ago and sealed off soon afterwards, alarming shoppers.

The Philippine National Police along with the National Bureau of Investigation and several foreign consultants have long concluded that the blast was a result of a gas explosion. Some parties were charged while others were exonerated. However doubts still persist on what actually happened simply because the authorities have not sufficiently accounted for the actual events that led to the explosion. In a nutshell, the authorities said that the septic tank backed up so sludge accumulated in the basement. The sludge produced methane within the confined spaces of the basement and an initial explosion was triggered byt a spark from a circuit breaker box which was also located in the basement. The initial explosion ignited the diesel in the tank of the back-up generator which was also located in the basement, which then resulted in the bigger, secondary explosion which did most of the damage in and around Glorietta 2.

The reason why doubts still persist regarding the blast is because the authorities used flawed reasoning in drawing their conclusions.

Immediately after the blast, there were rumors that it was a terrorist bombing. There were also speculations that the blast was a result of a gas explosion. It is evident that from the very beginning, the authorities were only looking at two possibilities: either a bomb or a gas explosion. And so, when a bomb was ruled out as the cause, it had to be a gas explosion. And that was very much the way the authorities supported their findings.

The trouble with the finding that a gas explosion was the source of the blast is that so many things are still left unaccounted for. The most glaring gap in the findings is an explanation for the absence of any burn patterns resulting from a gas explosion. Another issue left unexplained is how, assuming that there was a primary methane gas explosion, the primary explosion was able to ignite diesel, which is not volatile, in a closed tank.

It seems that the main assumption that there are only two possible causes of the explosion is flawed. There is also such a thing called chemical explosion where two or more chemicals react violently when mixed that they cause an explosion without necessarily causing fire. I vividly remember that Glorietta 2 housed barbershops and styling salons. These establishments regularly use hydrogen peroxide and ammonia in diluted form. It is not unlikely for these establishments to pour excess chemicals down the drain on a regular basis. In concentrated for, hydrogen peroxide and ammonia can be very volatile and explosive. It may be unlikely that these chemicals mixed and accumulated to a critical level and exploded but such scenario is within the realm of possibility that should have been explored. A chemical explosion would certainly explain the absence of any burn pattern in the scene.

A Growing, Festering Cancer

The Supreme Court resolution regarding the investigation by the special panel on the briber scandal in the Court of Appeals case regarding the controversy involving MERALCO and the GSIS came out on yesterday, September 9, 2008. The Supreme Court removed Vicente Roxas from the Court of Appeals, suspended Jose Sabio for two months, severely reprimanded Presiding Justice Conrado Vasquez, reprimanded and admonished three other justices who were part of the controversy, recommended the institution of disbarment proceedings against PCGG chairman Camilo Sabio and for the Justice Department to study the criminal charges that may be filed against businessman Francis De Borja.

In a way, it may be said that a cancerous growth has been removed from the judiciary but continuing on this analogy, more needs to be done. As anyone who had cancer or knows someone who did, removing a cancerous growth is only the first step. First, one must make sure that all the cancerous growth have been removed. Then there is also a need to determine if there are other cancerous growths elsewhere. If so, those have to be treated as well.

On the issue of whether or not the all the cancerous cells have been removed, most people are of the belief that that is not the case. Only one of the justices of the five who have been found to have varying degrees of culpability have been removed from his position. We are talking here of the Court of Appeals, the second highest court in the land. While negligence or ignorance of the rules and procedures may me excusable in lower courts, we require a higher standard of behavior, if not ethics, of the higher courts. All this talk about members of the judiciary being like Caesar's wife is not idle talk. At least it should not be. Not only must judges be pure, they must also appear to be pure, just like Caesar's wife.

Jose Sabio entertained, or at least did not shun attempts to influence his decision, a clear violation of the Code of Judicial Conduct. Worse, he thought there was nothing wrong with his brother calling him and trying to convince him to rule one way as he did not allow himself to be influenced. I do not believe it is ignorance that led him to believe this. Even a first year law student would know that such behavior is unacceptable. Hell, any person with some sense of decency and fair play would find such actuations contrary to everyday, run-of-the-mill rules of fair play. It was possibly hubris, thinking that the standards set out in the Code of Judicial Conduct were open to one's interpretation.

The other justices who were found wanting also got off easy, to the detriment of the judiciary. It bears reiterating that the Court of Appeals is second only to the Supreme Court as the highest judicial authority in the land. It is already unconscionable that justices with malice in their hearts or mush in their heads have reached this high in the judiciary, it would be much worse that after finding out who these are, they are merely given slaps on the wrists. Any case that would later on come before these erring justices would be tainted with suspicion. And suspicion has a funny way of rubbing off on those around it. Second chances are good but with the integrity of our judicial system at stake, let these justices get their second chances somewhere else.

The Supreme Court should take this opportunity to do a major housecleaning in the Court of Appeals and elsewhere in the judicial branch. How likely is it that all the bad eggs in the Court of Appeals found their way to just one division? Not very likely. Rumors of impropriety reek around labor cases so the the Supreme Court may start with the Court of Appeals division handling labor case, down to the National Labor Relations Commission and the labor arbiters. The Supreme Court might as well extend the housecleaning down to the rank and file like clerks of court and sheriffs who seem to be much well off financially than the officers of the court that they serve.

Unfortunately, if history is any indication, the Supreme Court would just rule that the matter of corruption has been resolved as in two previous occasions when members of the Court of Appeals have been dismissed. We'd then be clamoring again for a clean-up of the judiciary once another scandal erupts in the judiciary.

SEX!!!!

Now that I got your attention....

One of those American late-night talk show hosts put it succinctly regarding Britney Spears: You have to be a particularly bad mother to lose a child custody case to a lazy, no-talent, freeloading scum like Kevin Federline. In the case of the Philippines, you have to be a really awful president to make Erap Estrada look [in no way good but certainly] better.

There was definitely corruption in the Erap Administration and it went all the way to the top. Gloria Arroyo did him one better (actually, several times over worse) by destroying institutions which will not be able to recover long after she leaves office (hopefully) in 2010. To wit:

Gloria Arroyo destroyed the integrity of the election system by, among others, appointing Benjamin Abalos as its chairman. Where do we begin? His transgressions are numerous yet he has not been called to account for even one. He make a mockery of the judiciary by continually insisting that the bidding for the polling machines was on the up-and-up when the Supreme Court has already ruled that it was attended with irregularities. He then thumbed his nose at the Supreme Court by refusing to return the machines to the bidder and to get the money that had already been paid to them. Why the Supreme Court never disbarred, suspended or even reprimanded him in the face his contemptuous actuations is just baffling. He must have been busy trying to “generate foreign investments for the country” so he neglected all his important duties in the COMELEC. Ben Abalos must have a direct line to the devil. Even Cory Aquino, who initially appointed him to his launching pad to different government positions would only go as far as expressing support for Jun Lozada, the person who exposed his alleged nefarious activities in brokering the ZTE-NBN deal. With him being held accountable for these huge scandals, it's no wonder that people also overlook lesser offenses such as his alleged support of his son-in-law's candidacy while a COMELEC commissioner.

Gloria Arroyo has also cheapened the presidency by acting as a witness to the contract between NiHao and GeoGrace, and their Chinese counterpart companies. This is akin to Erap's claim that he only acted as guarantor to pal Jaime Dichaves when he signed the PCI-Equitable Bank papers.

At least Erap fired then Customs Commissioner Pedro Mendoza when the later pointed a pistol in a threatening manner (Can you do that in a manner different than threatening?) at another person in a hotel. PASG chief Antonio Villar, despite the fact that he may have caught smuggled goods but no big-time smuggler to date, will likely go without even the proverbial slap on the wrist for the mauling incident involving his bodyguards and a businessman in a hotel. Groundwork to exonerate him is already being laid by the palace. They have made it very clear that the bodyguards involved in the incident were not personal bodyguards but assigned by the Philippine National Police, all 56 of them. It really does not make any difference whether they were personal or assigned bodyguards. In whose behest do you think those bodyguards beat up that businessman?

Incidentally, the official reason given as to the big number of bodyguards assigned to him is that he receives a lot of death threats. Of course, he receives death threats. He confiscates smuggled goods so those smugglers would not be pleased. If he also arrested those who smuggled the goods that he confiscated, maybe there would be less people making threats against him.

Gloria Arroyo lessened the integrity of the Office of the Special Prosecutor when men who were doing their jobs like Simeon Marcelo were forced out when they were prevented from going after wrongdoers who may be close to her. Current efforts to oust Special Prosecutor Dennis Villa-Ignacio may appear comical if not for the fact the he remains the last ray of hope for the office.

Gloria Arroyo's appointment of Raul Gonzalez as Secretary of Justice is just another example of appointing people who would do her bidding, even to the detriment of the nation. The man has already stared down the dark abyss, galloped down the valley of death when he had to undergo kidney transplant operations, and returned to work with nary a change of heart (maybe he should have also undergone heart transplant operation as his is three sizes too small). He kept right on going after those who opposed Gloria Arroyo while doing nothing against transgressors who are close to her. Noli Sugay, the Manila City Administrator under then mayor Lito Atienza who was accused of shooting a jeepney driver in the face after an altercation would most likely go unpunished now that the case has passed from people's memory. The fiscal who found probable cause in the libel case against Jake Macasaet nine years after the complaint had been filed would unlikely face any sanctions. Jake Macasaet is not exactly a Gloria Arroyo supporter, you see.

We should keep a vigilant eye on the PCGG as it would still be business as usual for the commissioners despite the fact that the Supreme Court has recommended disbarment proceedings against PCGG chairman Camilo Sabio. Again, the groundwork to justify Camilo Sabio's retention as PCGG chairman is already underway. The palace has already stated that the PCGG chairman does not have to be a lawyer. Therefore, even if Camilo Sabio is stripped of his privilege to practice law, he can stay as PCGG chairman.

PCGG commissioners serve at the pleasure of the president who may dismiss or ask for a commission's resignation when she has lost trust and confidence in them. When a commissioner has been stripped of his privilege to practice law, that should be enough for the president to lose trust or confidence in him. In fact, even a hint of impropriety by a commissioner should be enough for any decent president to lose trust and confidence in him.

In Camilo Sabio's case, what we have is more than a hint of impropriety. He admitted to committing acts which the Supreme Court itself has adjudged to be improper. Of course, the operative term here is ANY DECENT PRESIDENT.

Who's Afraid of the Philippine Catholic Church?

The Reproductive Health Bill is inching along in Congress and the Philippine Catholic Church has mobilized to oppose the passage of the bill. Does the church really need the government to enforce its dogma?

I don't understand the Catholic Church's opposition to artificial contraceptives. First of all, there's no biblical basis for what kind of contraception is acceptable or not. Even if there is, we don't have to follow everything in the bible. In the bible, women are treated as chattel. You don't hear the Catholic Church advocating a return to such outdated and barbaric practice. Even the church's practice of allowing only men into the priesthood is not based on the teachings of the bible.

Someone once told me that the rational for the prohibition on artificial contraception is that sexual intercourse, in the view of the church, is solely for procreation, not for other things such as pleasure. Thus, if married couples want to plan their family, they can only do so by abstinence or by the rhythm method. I used to joke that Catholics believe only two things: the rhythm method and bingo. When rhythm method does not work, BINGO!

But I digress.

Anyway, this view of rhythm method as an acceptable form of family planning flies into the face of the tenet that sexual intercourse should solely be for the purpose of procreation because couples who practice the rhythm method have sexual intercourse for some purpose other than procreation, most likely for pleasure. And when you really think about it, there's nothing natural about the rhythm method, more so with abstinence.

I have not read the Reproductive Health Bill but I am sure that nothing in it condones abortion which is still a crime.

Some congressmen have already backed away from supporting the bill probably because of fear of the backlash from going against the Catholic Church. This fear is misplaced. Think about it. The Catholic Church can not even convince its flock, UNDER PAIN OF ETERNAL DAMNATION, not to use artificial contraceptives. Do you really think that the church can convince its flock to vote for one candidate instead of the other? It's like the rooster thinking that the sun only rises because he ordered it to do so with his crowing.

Random Thoughts

The headline on one of business papers today (September 8) read “Exporters Not Yet Rejoicing.” I did not read the article but it is apparently about the weakening of the peso against the U.S. dollar. It is probably just a literary device employed by the editor but it seems hint that exporters are entitled to be jubilant about their business prospects. All the while, I thought that the main function of business is to employ limited resources to meet consumer demands while making a decent return on their investment. Once in a while, businessmen may be “laughing all the way to the bank” but it is not imperative for government policy to guarantee that they do.

I came across an internet ad touting the advantages of converting one's vehicle to run on water. The ad stated “Reduce your fuel costs by as much as 70%.” I guess the water-powered vehicles have to run on special water that costs at least 30% of gasoline. Maybe it's one of those designer water. Maybe it's water that can only be found in Saudi Arabia.

Last week, Malaya Editor Jake Macasaet was arrested based on a warrant issued in relation to a complaint for libel filed against him some nine years ago. A search warrant is issued after a finding of probable cause by the fiscal. Probably cause simply means that the fiscal has determined that a crime has probably been committed and that the accused probably committed it. In libel, all that a fiscal needs to determine is if it is probable that someone published or caused the publication of what is probably libelous material. Jesus Christ! It took some pinhead fiscal nine years to determine that a material published was probably libelous and that editor of Malaya was one one who caused it! What did he do, read each and every copy of the newspaper? Don't hold your breath for Secretary Raul Gonzalez to sanction such seeming incompetence on the part of his subordinate.

I Grieve

Mang Pandoy passed away last week. He was plucked from obscurity in 1992 when then president Fidel Ramos made him the face of poverty. He was given some money, a piece of land, several jobs and scholarships for his children. Sixteen years later he died, by most accounts a destitute, from tuberculosis—a disease which at one time was considered terminal but these days considered to be largely treatable.

I grieve for Mang Pandoy because people took advantage of him. I also grieve for him because he squandered numerous opportunities to better his life and that of his family. By some account, he was given P200,000 at one time. In all likelihood, he did not invest that money wisely. He also received money from the various jobs given to him. Of course, those were token jobs but they generated substantial salaries that a more savvy individual could have put to better use. His children were unable to take full advantage of the scholarships given them because they did not have money for transportation and other related expenses, It was said that Mang Pandoy sold the land he received to augment his children's education-related expenses. During his last days, he was diagnosed to have tuberculosis but his family did not bring him to a hospital because they did not have any money for his hospitalization. I know of people of lesser stature who were accommodated in the Lung Center. Why his family did not think about bringing him there is now moot. At the age of 63, Mang Panday passed away.

I grieve for Mang Pandoy because he is us. Other nations have taken advantage of us, that's for sure. More tragic is that we've also squandered numerous opportunities for greatness.

In 1986, we proved that we could drive away a dictator through peaceful means. We gave a new meaning to “People Power” which would become a model for ousting tyrants and dictators the world over. But we dropped the ball after that. Much has been said about our failure to make the Marcoses accountable. Less discussed and at least equally disheartening is how we squandered the perfect opportunity to start clean. It now appears that we replaced one set of crooks with another. Ben Abalos got his start in government disservice when he was appointed officer-in-charge of Mandaluyong. People make mistakes. What is imperative is that we correct those mistakes. Cory Aquino expressed her full support for Ben Abalos when he resigned his post as COMELEC chairman amid the NBN-ZTE scandal. Her subsequent expression of support for Jun Lozada is not sufficient atonement for Ben Abalos. Denunciation is not enough but it would be a good start.

When the “Hello Garci” scandal broke out after the 2004 presidential elections, we also squandered an opportunity to rid ourselves Gloria Arroyo because we allowed others with their own self-serving interests and agenda hijack our cause.

When Erap Estrada was finally convicted of plunder, we enjoyed a very brief moment of greatness as a nation who finally found the will to hold an erring president accountable, until Gloria Arroyo hurriedly granted him pardon out of political accommodation.

I grieve for Mang Pandoy because like him we have glimpsed greatness. But like him we also seem to be destined for a sad but largely preventable demise.

Et Tu, Jose Sabio?

Ayon sa isang dating guro at malapit na kaibigan, isang araw ang magkasabay na inaasam at pinapangambahan ng isang ama, ang araw kung kailan ka malampasan ng iyong anak. Inaasam ng ama ang araw na ito dahil pangarap ng lahat ng mabuting ama na mas malayo ang marating at mas malaki ang maging tagumpay ng kanyang anak. Nakakapangamba rin ang araw na ito dahil baka mawala na ng paghanga at ang paggalang ng anak sa kanyang ama. Isang pag-asa lang ng isang ama ay ang pagpapalaki niya sa ang kanyang anak na may tamang asal. Isa sa mga ito ay ang pagturing sa katauhan ng isang tao ang pinanggalingan ng paghanga at paggalang, hindi ang yaman o antas sa buhay.

Ang kaibigan ko ay nakatapos ng kolehiyo at doktoria sa pagtuturo, at naging isang mataas na opisyal sa isang pamantasan sa estado ng California habang ang ama niya ay hindi nakatapos ng pag-aaral at binuhay at pinalaki ang kanilang pamilya sa pamimitas ng prutas at gulay sa mga taniman. Hanggang ngayon, hindi maitatago ang paghanga at pagpaparangal ng aking kaibigan sa alaala ng kanyang ama tuwing gumagawi dito ang usapan. Wala akong duda na ganoon din ang paghanga at pagpaparangal na nararandaman ng kanyang mga anak para sa kanya.

Maari ring ituring ang relasyon ng isang guro at mag-aaral ay parang relasyon ng ama sa kanyang anak. Kung maayos ang pagtuturo ng isang guro sa kanyang mag-aaral, malaman na mas malayo ang mararating at mas malaki ang magiging tagumpay ng kanyang mga mag-aaral. At kahit na mas malayo ang marating at mas malaki ang maging tagumpay ng isang mag-aaral, mananatili ang paghanga at paggalang niya sa kanyang guro. Mawawala lamang ang paghanga at paggalang na ito kung may malaking kakulangan sa pagkatao ang guro na matutuntunan ang mag-aaral.

Naalala ko ang aking dating guro at malapit na kaibigan dahil isang dating isang guro na naman ang nasa balita ngayon at ang dating paghanga at paggalang na narandaman ko ay napalitan ng pagkadismaya. Ang dating guro na ito ay si Justice Jose Sabio ng Court of Appeals na naging guro ko nuong nag-aaral ako ng abogasya sa Ateneo.

Hinahangaan at ginagalang ko pa rin si Jose Sabio nuong isiniwalat niya ang 'di umano'y katiwalian sa Court of Appeals. Hindi ito natinag kahit matagal na panahon ang nagdaan bago niya isiwalat ito. Hindi nawala ang aking paghanga at paggalang kahit inakusahan siya na siya raw ang mismong humingi ng lagay. Madali ang magparatang, mahirap ang magpatunay.

Nawala ang aking paghanga at paggalang nuong aminin mismo ni Jose Sabio na nilapitan siya ng kanyang nakakatandang kapatid (PCGG Chairman Camilo Sabio) tungkol sa isang kaso nguni't wala siyang nakitang mali dito. Wala naman daw inalok na kapalit ang kanyang kapatid at hindi naman daw siya nagpatinag sa kanyang desisyon. Nakakadismaya. Walang pagkakaiba ang ginawa ng kapatid niya sa paratang niyang ginawa ni Francis de Borja.

Mayroon tawag ang mga abogabo sa ginawa ni Camilo Sabio: ginapang niya ang kaso. Mabigat ang ibig sabihin ng “paggapang.” Kapareho ito kung gagamitin sa ganitong halimbawa: “Ginagapang ng amo ang kanyang katulong gabi-gabi.” Ipinanahiwatig na ang ganitong gawain ay tago, mapanlinlang at mali. Anong mga hayon ba ang gumagapang? Hindi ba mga ahas at buwaya? Mga hayop na binigyan natin ng masamang katangian. Merong pagkakaiba ang taong nanggagapang at ang mga ahas at buwaya. Ang mga ahas ang buwaya ay gumagapang dahil naayon ito sa hugis ng kanilang katawan; likas ito sa kanila. Ang mga ahas at buwaya ay gumagapang ng walang malisya, kundi dahil sa pangangailangan. Ang taong nanggagapang ay may itinatagong kamalian na ayaw niyang makita ng iba.

Kung nakakasuka ang halimbawa, dapat ay ganoon din kung hindi higit pa, ang paningin natin sa ginawa ng magkapatid na Sabio. Hindi lang mga partido sa kaso ang nilapastangan nito kundi ang buong bayan na umaasa sa maayos na pagpapalakad ng hustisiya.

Walang kinalaman ang pag-alok ng kapalit o ang pagsunod sa “mungkahi” sa pagkakaroon ng gapangan. Dalawa lamang ang elemento ng gapangan: 1) May kasong dapat husgahan; 2) May partidong lumapit ng patago para impluwensiyahan ang magiging husga, Kung may kinalaman ang alok ng kapalit o ang pagtatagumpay sa paggapang, ito ay ang pagpapalala. Kagaya rin ng ating halimbawa ng among nanggagapang, hindi nakasalalay ang pagganap ng panggagapang kung nagtagumpay sa panghahalay ang amo. Lumalala lamang ito.

Baka naman may magsasabi riyan na walang naganap na gapangan dahil hindi naman patago ang naging paglapit. Heto nga at buong loob na inilahad ni Jose Sabio ang nangyari. Ano ang masasabi mo sa taong nagsasabing puti ang itim, malabo ang malinaw o tama ang mali para magbago siya ng isip?

Dismayado rin ako sa mga kagaya kong naging dating mag-aaral na tinuruan ni Jose Sabio na kumakaripas na pumirma sa isang petisyon ng pagsuporta sa aming dating guro na ngayon naman ay tikom ang bibig sa mga kabaluktutang inamin mismo ng aming dating guro. Kung may nakita tayong tama, dapat lang na suportahan natin. Kung mayroon tayong nakitang mali, dapat ay ituwid natin.

Kalimutan na natin ang dapat o hindi dapat gawin. Maging makasarili na tayo. Sa susunod na may mangangailangan ng ating suporta, sino pa ang maniniwala sa atin kung lantaran nating kinusinte ang isang kabaluktutan?

Enough of the Movie Quotes Already!

There are times we are confronted by a situation which evokes very strong emotions—grief, jubilation, horror, awe—that we become at a loss for words. And so we use the words of those who are probably wiser and definitely more eloquent, to describe our feelings.

It was George Bernard Shaw who first said “Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others see things that never were and ask why not?” But most people attribute the quote to Bobby F. Kennedy in his eulogy for his brother John F Kennedy. Okay, Bobby Kennedy changed the second sentence to “I see things that never were….” and did not attribute the quote to its proper author. In this instance, it is not important whether the words were Bobby Kennedy’s or not because it captured the pathos of the moment in a way that other words could not.

Those were the good old days when people read books and actively sought knowledge. These days, we are more interested in drama, however artificial. And we have also become lazy. We just latch on to the catchy phrases, mostly from movies, to capture the moment in words. Even “the moment” could be any moment not necessarily dramatic. The catch phrase is probably supposed to provide the drama.

Consider the situation in the Supreme Court inquiry into the alleged bribery in the Court of Appeals. CA Justice Roxas quoted the Penguin, a character in a Batman movie, to explain why he shredded documents and brought them home for burning. What was it about that that Justice Roxas himself, a judge in the second highest court in the land, could not explain in his own words? And what was it about the Penguin that made him such an authority in the destruction of governments?

Of course, the SC inquiry is just the latest misuse and abuse of quotations. There was Rep. Edmund Reyes, emulating Achilles in the movie “Troy,” shouting “Is there no one else?” in trying to get more signatures for the impeachment petition. Apparently, as in the movie, there was no one else.

Also, in the chambers of the House of Representatives, the late Rep. Wahab Akbar in a privileged speech claimed that “I am Basilan.” This seemed reminiscent of a scene in the movie “Kingdom of Heaven” where King Baldwin IV said “I am…Jerusalem.” Wahab Akbar is also dead. He died from that bomb blast in front of the Batasan Hall lobby last year. One would hope that his last thoughts were enlightened and eloquent at the moment of his death as I would like mine to be. But fate being what it is, my last words would probably be “Doh!”, a Homer Simpson favorite.

There is however, one movie quote I wouldn’t mind hearing and it is from the movie “Jerry Maguire.” In the event that Gloria Arroyo is somehow ousted from the presidency, I wouldn’t mind at all if she says, “You had me at ‘Hello’…Garci.”

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Let me introduce you to one of the most powerful phrases in the English language. It is “with all due respect.” This phrase allows you to hurl the vilest of insults without the one being insulted necessarily taking as much offense as the insult warrants.

You can tell someone “I'd like to call you an idiot but idiots would take offense” and at the very least you would cause offense. More likely, the idiot would have his bodyguards beat you up and shoot you. On the other hand, if you preface the insult with the phrase “with all due respect” you could even come across as being frank. Of course, if your name is Frank, you could also come across as someone with candor.

These four simple words let you appear deferential without being a hypocrite. You show respect but only that which is due the person you are insulting. That may also be an insult in itself as you are implying that little if any respect at all is due.

By averting or reducing the prospect of bodily harm or even death, one could then be more creative one's insults. For example, you could say, “With all due respect, you are nothing but eleven pounds of lying, thieving, cheating, contemptible, shit in a ten-pound sack.”

Or maybe not.

Lemons Into Lemonade

We can easily avert an impending power crisis if we could just be creative in our search for alternative sources of energy. First, a lesson in physics. We know that electricity is actually just the flow of electrons. That is why when we speak of electricity, we speak of electrical current. There is actually a current of electrons flowing from the power generation plants, through the transmission cables that rebels are fond of blowing up and some of our nefarious citizens are fond of stealing, through the power lines which so many of our citizens are fond of illegally tapping into, to our homes through the wires and finally into our our various appliances.

So how do you make electrons flow? One way, and this is also how the power plants do it, is to pass a coil of wire repeatedly through a magnetic field. The big power plants just do this in a much bigger scale but the principle is the same. Steam or flowing water (in the case of hydroelectric plants) is used cause a turbine to rotate in a magnetic field.

Second, a lesson in anthropology. In most cultures including ours, we believe whatever we do reflects on our ancestors. In some cases, we do things which our ancestors would have been violently opposed to had they been alive. But since they're not, they're said to spin in their graves. I suppose that the manner in which our ancestors spin in their graves depends in direct proportion to the transgression we commit. The bigger the shame we bring upon our ancestors, the faster our ancestors spin in their graves.

Now, let us put physics and anthropology to work. I am sure that former president Diosdado Macapagal, had he been alive today would be repulsed by what his daughter has been up to recently. Resurgent nationalism, which Macapagal made as his legacy is now but a distant memory. It was the late president who strove for the recognition of June 12 as our Independence Day, and not July 4. Now, our Independence Day is still June 12, as long as it falls on a Monday, thanks to his daughter. It is not just that. There's the agreement with the Chinese for the development of Spratlys' Islands supposedly just for joint exploration. There's also the Northrail and the National Broadband deals, also with China, under unconscionably onerous terms for the Philippine government and ultimately for the Filipino people. And recently, the [fortunately aborted signing of the] Memorandum of Agreement with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (I hate to say MILF because MILF is better known outside the Philippines as a sub-genre of pornography) virtually ceding a substantial territory of the nation to the secessionist movement,

So, let's strap some magnets on Cong Dadong's remains, put coils of wire next to his body and let his daughter's weekly betrayal of the nation power us out of an impending energy crisis.

Two Problems, One Solution

I remember a long time ago, I was watching late night TV and flipping from one infomercial to another. As it happened, I switched from one infomercial advertising sex chat lines to another infomercial asking for donations to help feed famine stricken regions across the world. Apparently, there were a lot of horny people out there who would pay a lot of money for someone at the other end of the phone. On the other hand, it also seemed possible to feed an entire family in some third world country for an entire day just for the price of a cup of coffee. There were referring to just regular coffee, too. If it were coffee from Starbucks, you could probably feed an entire village for an entire week. But I digress....

Anyway, there it occurred to me that we could end world hunger if we could only get starving people to talk dirty over the phone. It is, as Joe de Venecia pre-NBN-ZTE scandal would say, a win-win proposition.

Kidding aside, it appears that we also have two problems that can solve each other.

Well, there's the growing trash problem perennially hounding our country. Metro Manila alone produces some 7,000 tons of trash daily. We are always running out of landfills when we could dump our trash. These landfills themselves give rise to a host of other problems such as pollution and the inevitable rise of squatter colonies.

And then, there's the energy problem. With fuel prices going up, electricity rates shouldn't be far behind.

If only we could turn the enormous amounts of trash we generate into electricity. Ah, but there is. And it's not the harvesting of methane from landfills. There are numerous problems associated with methane harvesting. First, the landfill has to be properly lined so that toxic materials do not seep out and contaminated groundwater. We don't really have a good record in developing the proper landfill, do we? Second, methane can not be harvested until the landfill is capped. That means that while the landfill is still operational, methane and other pollutants would be released in the air.

Plasma gasification. That's the process where high heat and high pressure turns carbon based materials to fuel which could then be used to generate electricity. It would not violate the Clean Air Act as it does not involve incineration and no toxic fumes are released into the atmosphere.

Now the only thing we need is to find a way for some administration flunkie to make an obscene amount of money brokering this deal. Maybe Ben Abalos can make this his "last hurrah," what with that ZTE-NBN deal falling through.