Reincarnation
When the contents of Leona Helmsley’s will were revealed and it was shown to have provided a $12 million trust fund for her dog, people were given another reason to wish that if and when they are reincarnated, it would be as a dog of an eccentric billionaire. There was a time when men would like to be reincarnated as dogs solely for the ability to lick one’s own balls. Times, they do change.
Among non-Hindu and non-Buddhist people who believe in reincarnation, practically all claim to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra. That’s quite strange. First, it goes against the whole theory of reincarnation. One soul can only be reincarnated into one other being at one time. In sniper-speak, one shot, one kill.
Secondly, why is it that those who believe that they are reincarnations always have to be reincarnations of great beings? And what have such great beings done that was so egregious that when they were reincarnated, they came back as vacuous, shallow airheads? For once, I’d like to hear someone say “I’m the reincarnation of that ‘propeller guy’ in Titanic.”
It must be frustrating for a nation like Pakistan to go to war with a predominantly Hindu nation like India. Even as Pakistan has already developed nuclear weapons, they haven’t found a way to stop Indians from reincarnating. If ever Pakistan decides to use their nukes against India, the “KABOOOOM” from their bombs would inevitably be followed by “poof” “poof” “poof” “poof” “poof” as the Indians are reincarnated as Indians. Well, maybe if the Pakistanis could provide proof that when Indians are reincarnated they are reincarnated as Pakistanis, their nukes would serve a deterrent purpose.
But I digress.
Since it is doctrinally impossible to have more than one person at the same time to be the reincarnation of one soul, there should be a test to determine who is the real reincarnation of whom. A DEATH MATCH. That would not really be an accurate title since there is no such thing as death in the scheme of reincarnation, it is but a process. First, we gather all those who claim to be reincarnations of the same being. Put them in a ring (ala Thunderdome—all Cleopatras enter, only the real Cleopatra leaves) and let them go at each other. If they truly believe in reincarnation, death shouldn’t be a concern. It’s all in helping along the process.
When the contents of Leona Helmsley’s will were revealed and it was shown to have provided a $12 million trust fund for her dog, people were given another reason to wish that if and when they are reincarnated, it would be as a dog of an eccentric billionaire. There was a time when men would like to be reincarnated as dogs solely for the ability to lick one’s own balls. Times, they do change.
Among non-Hindu and non-Buddhist people who believe in reincarnation, practically all claim to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra. That’s quite strange. First, it goes against the whole theory of reincarnation. One soul can only be reincarnated into one other being at one time. In sniper-speak, one shot, one kill.
Secondly, why is it that those who believe that they are reincarnations always have to be reincarnations of great beings? And what have such great beings done that was so egregious that when they were reincarnated, they came back as vacuous, shallow airheads? For once, I’d like to hear someone say “I’m the reincarnation of that ‘propeller guy’ in Titanic.”
It must be frustrating for a nation like Pakistan to go to war with a predominantly Hindu nation like India. Even as Pakistan has already developed nuclear weapons, they haven’t found a way to stop Indians from reincarnating. If ever Pakistan decides to use their nukes against India, the “KABOOOOM” from their bombs would inevitably be followed by “poof” “poof” “poof” “poof” “poof” as the Indians are reincarnated as Indians. Well, maybe if the Pakistanis could provide proof that when Indians are reincarnated they are reincarnated as Pakistanis, their nukes would serve a deterrent purpose.
But I digress.
Since it is doctrinally impossible to have more than one person at the same time to be the reincarnation of one soul, there should be a test to determine who is the real reincarnation of whom. A DEATH MATCH. That would not really be an accurate title since there is no such thing as death in the scheme of reincarnation, it is but a process. First, we gather all those who claim to be reincarnations of the same being. Put them in a ring (ala Thunderdome—all Cleopatras enter, only the real Cleopatra leaves) and let them go at each other. If they truly believe in reincarnation, death shouldn’t be a concern. It’s all in helping along the process.
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