Boobs & Assholes: Anatomy of the Arroyo Administration

There is a rumor going around that Gloria Arroyo has breast implants. It should not come as a surprise if that were the case. She has always surrounded herself with big boobs so making her own bigger is but a logical extension of the concept.

Consider the Secretary of the Department of Justice Raul Gonzalez. When journalists were able to get an interview with MILF renegade Commander Bravo, he had the pinheaded notion to suggest that the journalists should have informed the authorities the location of the interview. The very idea itself is wrong on many levels and so many ways that it would take forever to enumerate them all. The basic ones need to be mentioned. First, journalists do not take sides. They are supposed to report on matters in an objective and fair manner. Raul Gonzalez must have been watching too much Fox TV that he now believes that being fair and objective means rooting for one side unabashedly. Second, even suggesting that journalists act as informants for the government places journalists in harm's way. The next time that some outlaw grants an interview, he might think that his interviewer is setting him up. He must really want our country to have the dubious distinction of topping Iraq as the country where most journalists are killed. Aside from being a big boob Raul Gonzalez earns for himself the honor of being an asshole. And if a rumor that Gloria Arroyo had another anus surgically implanted or her own surgically enlarged, that too, should not come as a surprise.

As Raul Gonzalez has increased the occupational risk of journalists, they should return the favor by attending all his press conferences even if, or especially when they are sick. His immune system is compromised because of a recent kidney transplant he underwent and a strategically directed spittle might just do the job that a total renal failure failed to do.

Then there's the confederation of idiots in the Palace. Where to begin? Let's start with the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain. Until now, those dolts could not make up their mind whether Gloria Arroyo authorized or knew of the terms of the so called agreement. To be fair, it is not much of a choice—either Gloria Arroyo was knowingly selling out our country to a handful of bandits or she was unknowingly selling out our country to a handful of bandits.

Recently there was the flap about the $10B emergency fund for ASEAN. First, Gloria Arroyo tried to take credit for nudging the World Bank to set up a contingency fund. The very next day, the World Bank denied it. All the president's men then scurried about and came up with the lame explanation that it was the International Monetary Fund. As lame as it was, it too, was wrong. There is a fund to help any country suffering from the global financial crisis. In essence, Gloria Arroyo was hogging the limelight for nothing at all. It's not really out of character. Remember when she tried to take credit for supposedly lowering the cost of text messages? It turned out that there was already an ongoing promotional program which was only for a limited time and subject to different conditions.

Former Department of Agriculture Undersecretary Jocjoc Bolante is in the news again. He is scheduled to be deported back here next week. His lawyer said that he chose not to appeal the denial of his application for refugee status in the United States. He has exhausted all his appeals, actually. He is accused of diverting money which was supposed to fund a fertilizer program, into Gloria Arroyo's presidential campaign. It's not as if he could not find enough conduits for the diversion scheme so it baffles the imagination why he had to make it appear that congressmen who were not close, but even hostile to Gloria Arroyo purportedly received funds from the fertilizer scam. Not content with such a blunder, he even went to the United States where he had the audacity to petition for asylum because of “persecution” here in the Philippines. On principle alone, he should be thrown out of the plane head first onto the tarmac once it arrives here to give a little bit of credence to his claim of persecution.

Bayani Fernando ranks up there with Raul Gonzalez in the anatomy category. His idea of beautifying EDSA is to have his picture plastered all throughout the entire length of the city's main thoroughfare. His face is not one that only a mother could love. It's one that could convince a mother to consider post-term abortion. Traffic along EDSA slows to a crawl because drivers do not know how to properly make a left turn at the intersections. Drivers usually occupy and block thru-lanes when making left turns. Bayani Fernando's solution is to eliminate intersections and have drivers do u-turns. Consider for a moment that a u-turn is essentially two consecutive left turns. Now, we don't have through-traffic being choked by drivers improperly making left turns, but by the same idiots improperly making u-turns.

Tito Sotto, currently head of PDEA, when he was a senator during the Oakwood Mutiny inquiry and upon being told that the supposed destabilization plan was a fake, asked for the original. Then Armed Forces chief General Angelo Reyes had to point out that “fake” meant “spurious” or just made-up and not “fake” in the manner of an illicit copy of a copyrighted DVD where an original existed. This is the same Angelo Reyes who is now secretary of the Department of Energy who, when lauding the benefits of using compressed natural gas as fuel for internal combustion engines claimed that one of such benefits is the reduction if not the elimination of carbon dioxide emissions. He probably meant carbon monoxide.

Gloria Arroyo's band of idiots even made it to the legislature. There's Lito Lapid. Res Ipsa Loquitur. There too, are the Cayetano siblings whom Gloria and Mike Arroyo helped in their election campaign. Senate President Manny Villar is currently out of the country and he appointed Pia Cayetano as officer-in-charge. Now, Senator Santiago wants a warrant of arrest issued against Eliseo dela Paz but Pia Cayetano would not sign one until she has received guidance from the absent senate president. If she has to await instructions from Manny Villar on such a simple matter, she's not really in charge, is she?

Finding people in the current administration who is neither an asshole or a boob is getting to be like finding good people in Sodom (by definition, there would be relatively bigger assholes here, but I digress) and Gomorrah. So, when people in the Arroyo administration resign their positions, ask not why. They probably just have had enough of being big boobs or assholes.

Our Long Descent Into Barbarism Begins

The Philippine Military recently released a video of an alleged MILF training camp where what appeared to be children were being trained in the use of arms and in warfare. And the MILF has promptly denied this. Well, not exactly. The MILF did not deny providing military training to children who have volunteered to join their ranks. What the MILF denied was having children in the ranks of their regular troops and actively recruiting children to join their ranks.

Given the atrocities committed by members of the MILF in recent months, and now the allegations of violating the rights of children, one would expect that the present administration would move to declare the MILF as a terrorist organization.

But the Philippines is Wonderland and Gloria Arroyo is the Queen of Hearts. Nothing makes sense. What, you ask, would one have to do to be declared as a terrorist organization here? Atrocities and wanton human rights violations aside, one only need to be of no use to Gloria Arroyo. The MILF is fortunate enough that the current administration can use them to make and end run on charter change in order to perpetuate Gloria Arroyo's hold on power. The New People's Army, which is arguably less vicious, but probably less willing to be manipulated by the current administration has found itself on that terror list. That may be giving the NPA more credit that is due them. It may only be that the NPA has no claim on ancestral domain to dangle in front of Gloria Arroyo.

This is just great. (Sarcastic.) Not only do we have the dubious distinction of ranking second only to Iraq in terms of number of journalists killed, or for being up there in the corruption index, now we have joined the ranks of Somalia, Sierra Leone, and other African countries that have child soldiers.

Of course Gloria Arroyo's overly generous accommodations are not limited to the MILF. One only need to look at the incompetent, corrupt, and abusive people entrenched in government positions to comprehend the extent of her “generosity.”

SEX!!!!

Now that I got your attention....

One of those American late-night talk show hosts put it succinctly regarding Britney Spears: You have to be a particularly bad mother to lose a child custody case to a lazy, no-talent, freeloading scum like Kevin Federline. In the case of the Philippines, you have to be a really awful president to make Erap Estrada look [in no way good but certainly] better.

There was definitely corruption in the Erap Administration and it went all the way to the top. Gloria Arroyo did him one better (actually, several times over worse) by destroying institutions which will not be able to recover long after she leaves office (hopefully) in 2010. To wit:

Gloria Arroyo destroyed the integrity of the election system by, among others, appointing Benjamin Abalos as its chairman. Where do we begin? His transgressions are numerous yet he has not been called to account for even one. He make a mockery of the judiciary by continually insisting that the bidding for the polling machines was on the up-and-up when the Supreme Court has already ruled that it was attended with irregularities. He then thumbed his nose at the Supreme Court by refusing to return the machines to the bidder and to get the money that had already been paid to them. Why the Supreme Court never disbarred, suspended or even reprimanded him in the face his contemptuous actuations is just baffling. He must have been busy trying to “generate foreign investments for the country” so he neglected all his important duties in the COMELEC. Ben Abalos must have a direct line to the devil. Even Cory Aquino, who initially appointed him to his launching pad to different government positions would only go as far as expressing support for Jun Lozada, the person who exposed his alleged nefarious activities in brokering the ZTE-NBN deal. With him being held accountable for these huge scandals, it's no wonder that people also overlook lesser offenses such as his alleged support of his son-in-law's candidacy while a COMELEC commissioner.

Gloria Arroyo has also cheapened the presidency by acting as a witness to the contract between NiHao and GeoGrace, and their Chinese counterpart companies. This is akin to Erap's claim that he only acted as guarantor to pal Jaime Dichaves when he signed the PCI-Equitable Bank papers.

At least Erap fired then Customs Commissioner Pedro Mendoza when the later pointed a pistol in a threatening manner (Can you do that in a manner different than threatening?) at another person in a hotel. PASG chief Antonio Villar, despite the fact that he may have caught smuggled goods but no big-time smuggler to date, will likely go without even the proverbial slap on the wrist for the mauling incident involving his bodyguards and a businessman in a hotel. Groundwork to exonerate him is already being laid by the palace. They have made it very clear that the bodyguards involved in the incident were not personal bodyguards but assigned by the Philippine National Police, all 56 of them. It really does not make any difference whether they were personal or assigned bodyguards. In whose behest do you think those bodyguards beat up that businessman?

Incidentally, the official reason given as to the big number of bodyguards assigned to him is that he receives a lot of death threats. Of course, he receives death threats. He confiscates smuggled goods so those smugglers would not be pleased. If he also arrested those who smuggled the goods that he confiscated, maybe there would be less people making threats against him.

Gloria Arroyo lessened the integrity of the Office of the Special Prosecutor when men who were doing their jobs like Simeon Marcelo were forced out when they were prevented from going after wrongdoers who may be close to her. Current efforts to oust Special Prosecutor Dennis Villa-Ignacio may appear comical if not for the fact the he remains the last ray of hope for the office.

Gloria Arroyo's appointment of Raul Gonzalez as Secretary of Justice is just another example of appointing people who would do her bidding, even to the detriment of the nation. The man has already stared down the dark abyss, galloped down the valley of death when he had to undergo kidney transplant operations, and returned to work with nary a change of heart (maybe he should have also undergone heart transplant operation as his is three sizes too small). He kept right on going after those who opposed Gloria Arroyo while doing nothing against transgressors who are close to her. Noli Sugay, the Manila City Administrator under then mayor Lito Atienza who was accused of shooting a jeepney driver in the face after an altercation would most likely go unpunished now that the case has passed from people's memory. The fiscal who found probable cause in the libel case against Jake Macasaet nine years after the complaint had been filed would unlikely face any sanctions. Jake Macasaet is not exactly a Gloria Arroyo supporter, you see.

We should keep a vigilant eye on the PCGG as it would still be business as usual for the commissioners despite the fact that the Supreme Court has recommended disbarment proceedings against PCGG chairman Camilo Sabio. Again, the groundwork to justify Camilo Sabio's retention as PCGG chairman is already underway. The palace has already stated that the PCGG chairman does not have to be a lawyer. Therefore, even if Camilo Sabio is stripped of his privilege to practice law, he can stay as PCGG chairman.

PCGG commissioners serve at the pleasure of the president who may dismiss or ask for a commission's resignation when she has lost trust and confidence in them. When a commissioner has been stripped of his privilege to practice law, that should be enough for the president to lose trust or confidence in him. In fact, even a hint of impropriety by a commissioner should be enough for any decent president to lose trust and confidence in him.

In Camilo Sabio's case, what we have is more than a hint of impropriety. He admitted to committing acts which the Supreme Court itself has adjudged to be improper. Of course, the operative term here is ANY DECENT PRESIDENT.